Leafy Misadventures
by Joleth
Summary: A cautionary tale of an unlikely adventurer trying to make it big in the world of Minecraft.


Well, hello there, little block. If you have time, I'd like to tell you a little story. It's a story of an adventurer who is just trying to survive and make it big in a cold, dangerous, creeping world. What may seem like simple things to you are not so simple for this unlikely adventurer. It is a cautionary tale. It is something I like to call... Leafy Misadventures. Stay awhile and listen.

There once was a nameless adventurer who some just called "Leaf on the Wind." Why such a silly nick name, you ask? Well, he liked to soar, like a leaf on the wind is wont to do. But like all wind, it eventually stops, and that leaf will come falling down to the ground. For Mr. Leaf, it was usually a pretty hard fall that would end in gruesome suffering.

Anyway, on one particular day, Mr. Leaf was down in his mineshaft mining away as usual. All of a sudden, Mr. Leaf started getting hungry. No problem! He can just open his backpack and eat some of those nice cooked pork chops he carries around with him. He reached back to get some of the goodness.

Uh oh. Something was wrong. All the food was gone. Where was it?! The hunger was getting unbearable. Oh, that's right. The day before the last, Mr. Leaf blew himself up. Yes, you heard me right. And all his food and other valuable possessions were obliterated. How did this happen? Well, he fell down and triggered a trap in a desert temple. Not smart.

This explosion left Mr. Leaf in critical condition, but someone named Matt saved him! Matt, by the way, is a jerk. (It's true! He says so himself!). For Mr. Leaf, it was like all that experience he had before had become meaningless. Time to forget the past and get new experience... It was a shame. That was a lot of experience for Mr. Leaf! Anyway, Mr. Leaf was able to recover in a short time and woke up in his house.

But what about the food? Well, Mr. Leaf decided he should go out and get some, of course! He took a saddle and his horse armor and went out to find food with his horse. Pigs, chicken, or cows. It didn't matter which he found, it was all good for him! Just as long as he found a lot and was able to cook it. Also, Mr. Leaf had heard somewhere from some random person that it was more efficient to kill the animals for food using flint and steel instead of a sword! For one thing, when they die, the meat is already cooked! That was awesome news for Mr. Leaf, since he was so hungry he felt like he could die. He could not wait to go back and cook that food. Also, doing it this way meant that his sword wouldn't get dirty or break from killing those poor animals.

And Mr. Leaf did just that. He found many animals, and burned them alive. Their screams could be heard miles away. It was kind of horrifying, but it meant he was able to eat, so he continued. After some trial and error, Mr. Leaf learned he could not use the flint and steel on the animals themselves and would have to burn the grass and push the animals on it. No big deal. He continued and ate and was merry. Then it started to get dark. Uh oh. Time to go back home! Don't want to get eaten by zombies or have creepers creep up. Maybe he would go back out and get more food tomorrow. He needs a lot for all that mining!

When Mr. Leaf got back to the stables, he was trying to get off his horse. But instead of getting off, he used his flint and steel! What...? That makes no sense. Hands are not the same as feet! Stupid hands and feet getting mixed up. Unfortunately, Mr. Leafs second horse was there. The flint and steel did not light the ground on fire, oh no. It lit his other horse on fire! Oh, Mr. Leaf...

In a great panic, Mr. Leaf searched for the trusty bucket of water he always has with him. This would save the poor horse! But... it was nowhere to be found. You see, it too was destroyed in the explosion which destroyed his food. He had forgotten to make a new one. The only thing Mr. Leaf could do was sit there and watch in horror as the screaming horse ran around on fire. And then... silence.

Mr. Leaf just stood there, stunned, looking at the charred ashes of the horse, and the hide that had fallen off. He soon remembered it was night and so he picked up the leather hide and went to bed.

The next morning, Mr. Leaf decided he would go in search of a new horse. A better horse. A horse that was not killed in a senseless fire. He put his flint and steel away and vowed never to use that to kill another animal. He should have never listened to that stupid random person. Oh well.

He took a saddle and horse armor and put it in his backpack, for he knew not how far he would need to travel with the new horse. He left his old horse in the stable. Better to not burden this other horse, should Mr. Leaf die a horrible death. At least Mr. Leaf had food for the journey.

Mr. Leaf headed north of his house. He traveled a long way, but there were no horses that he could find. This was just his luck. The longer he traveled, the more he felt sorry for himself. He reached an ocean and looked out at the horizon for a while. It was serene. Perhaps one day he would go retire on an island somewhere out there, if one existed. But not yet. He put the thoughts out of his mind. He focused back on his task of finding a horse. There was nothing here, so he decided to travel back home and rest.

The next day, he decided to travel west. This was a much longer journey than his trek north. On his way, he found a desert temple. Not the one that he triggered the trap in and exploded. No, this was a brand new one. It was strange that there were multiple desert temples. Perhaps he should go get some loot. But... No. He needed to get a horse. Besides, knowing him, he would trigger the trap yet again. Better some other more experienced adventurer get the loot.

The journey west lasted many days. Mr. Leaf had to create many small shelters in the dirt, sand, or mountains to spend the night so he would not get eaten. He traveled through jungle, desert, forests, steep hills and snow covered lands. As I have said, he passed by a desert temple. He even passed by some sort of cemetery with evil catacombs. There was one closer to where he lived, but this was a new one, surrounded by water. He dared not enter that. Who knows what could be down there... It was a smart decision on his part.

In time, he came to the plains. At long last, it was here that he saw them. Four or five horses! Some ponies! It was a joyous day! But first things first. He had to secure them.

He built a stable to keep them in. Under it, he carved out a temporary shelter for himself. This could take many days, and he needed somewhere to sleep, of course. In time, he was able to tame them all (except for the ponies) and put them in the stable. Then he put the saddle and golden horse armor on the strongest horse and took off back toward his home. It would take a while to get there, but he would try his best to get them all home!

On his way back, Mr. Leaf reached a dense forest. This proved to be very difficult for the horse to navigate. This horse was not very smart. It would just get stuck in all the trees. Not good. So, he got off the horse, and proceeded to clear a path for the horse. Not even a minute went by, and when Mr. Leaf turned around... The horse was gone! Oh no!

He couldn't have gone far... right? Mr. Leaf searched everywhere. He could not find him at all. It was as if he just... vanished from existence. What was worse was that the horse still had the saddle and golden horse armor on. It was the only saddle Mr. Leaf had, and he had not the ability to make more!

Mr. Leaf rushed back to the stable where the horses were. Maybe the horse traveled back there to be with his herd! Oh what a relief to be able to find his horse there! But... no such luck for Mr. Leaf. Now Mr. Leaf was stuck so far away from home, with no saddle, and no way to bring the horses home. Nothing ever goes right for him.

And then it hit him! The catacombs that were very close to the stable could hold what he was looking for! He had heard stories of adventurers finding saddles inside of dangerous places along with other valuable treasure. In fact, that is how Mr. Leaf found his first saddle. It was in an abandoned mine shaft. However, this place looked to be MUCH more dangerous than anything he had seen in all his days. Maybe he shouldn't. No. He had to. He needed to get the poor horses home.

Mr. Leaf put his iron armor on, equipped his iron sword, made many torches, and when he felt ready, crept down the stairway of that evil temple. As he went down, it got dark. Not just inside, but outside as well. The moon was now up, but it had been the middle of the day just moments ago! This was not good. Not good at all. But he continued anyway.

He lit the hallways with his torches as he went. Then he stumbled upon a zombie cat! Attack! And then it fell. "That was not so bad", he thought to himself while he examined his armor. "Barely even a scratch." Now more confident, he went further into the place of death. He found some treasure chests. He took the contents. Still no saddle. Onward!

He found a few more chests. They seemed to be everywhere. This was a little too easy. Then he was attacked by a spider. It got a few good hits on him, but was destroyed without much trouble. And then, he was hit by something behind him. There was nothing there before. He turned and it was a zombie! He killed it and then was hit again. He turned and found a skeleton shooting at him. He killed that was pretty quick as well. Time to go back to looting the chests...

And as he turned to a chest, something else was there! He attacked out of fright, but should not have. It was none other than a zombie pig-man. It attacked without restraint and then was joined by four other pig-men. Mr. Leaf put up a good fight, but he had received so many wounds that he passed out and lost all his armor and possessions again... Just like the time he exploded.

He should have died, but somehow... He awoke in the jungle. That was strange. He guessed he crawled out of there, or some unknown force saved him. However, he still had no possessions. He must go back and get them! They couldn't have exploded so they must still be there. He got some new armor and weapons and he rushed back in. No monsters in sight. He found the place where his possessions should be. However, before he could pick them up, he was attacked by a wither skeleton. He had heard about these abominations, but never saw one in person. They should not exist here. But there it was... And then Mr. Leaf woke up in the jungle yet again. Whoever keeps saving him needs to bring him someplace better. Or at least let him keep his stuff!

Empty handed, he went back to the cemetery. He looted some of the graves and found an iron axe. This would be very helpful! He charged back inside, and found where his possessions should be. Rather than finding his items, he found a tombstone in their place. Strange. But for some reason he dug it up and then found his stuff! Oh happy day! This time, he took his things and left in a hurry. He almost died on his way out but he made it. Then he went home. He would have to get the horses some other time... At least he found them, even if they are so far away.

And there you have it. The story of Mr. Leaf and the burned horse. The moral of the story is don't light another horse on fire when trying to get off your horse. Idiot. Come back next week when the story continues! Unless he happens to die a horrible death. Then don't come back. It wouldn't be surprising anyway.


End file.
